Don't Call Me on the Phone.

I don't want to talk to you. Don't call me on the phone. Do you want to sell me a new credit card? I have one. I'm all set. Don't call me on the phone. Do you want me to take photos of your shitty kid? I don't want to do it. I don't know this kid and I've met you twice. Now I have about 7 seconds to figure out how much to charge you. Oh, you can't pay me but I can use the photos for my portfolio? Fantastic. I can't wait to add photos of your engagement or pregnancy or shitty kid to my portfolio full of naked ladies. On that note, do you want to be a naked lady on the internet? Email me. It's 10:30am on a Sunday. Why are you calling me on the phone? Who are you? What do you want? Write me a letter on the computer. Then send it through cyberspace. Hello? Sheldon Goldenblatt? You need me to be in Laval in an hour to shoot your daughter's bat mitzvah? For $100? Maybe your photographer bailed last minute because including retouching you're essentially paying her $6 an hour. How about you go fuck yourself instead. Don't call me on the phone. I don't want to talk to you.